Family In Fighting

By Lloyd Merritt Smigel

I never sought after becoming somewhat of an expert in family businesses but after working with my father for 5 years, my father in law for 5 years, a family owned Pest Control Business (Truly Nolen) for 15 years and then doing consulting in this industry with mostly family owned company’s – another 20 years.  I can say that after 45 years of working with family businesses – I know what works and what doesn’t work.

The sad part about family businesses is that, for the most part, you can’t just come home from work and forget about the business.  Some may WANT to do that – but it rarely happens.

The good news is that when you pass a job, career and life style on to your relatives – life is good.  But it won’t be easy.

Sadly, most of the time the parents expect much more from their relatives than they would expect from their best employee.  Noting wrong about having them pay their dues and work for it – but some times, even the employees tell me – the parents are way too tough on their kids. 

One company I worked with many years ago had their son working Termite for 7 years.  What is that about?  The son wasn’t getting paid very much and worked 6 days a week.  He knew nothing about Pest Control (didn’t even have a license) and he was told over and over that “Someday this will all be yours.”  As far as I know, Someday hasn’t come yet. 

Most Family Companies don’t even have a Family Mission Statement, Training and Development plans, Scheduled Family Corporate Meetings or even Evaluation Plans.  But they do have that “Someday this will all be yours” philosophy.

So when the in-fighting begins, it will either fade off to come back at a later date, or a shouting match (one way or two way) or someone leaves or, at least – their feelings get hurt.

In either scenario – this usually gets taken home and off we go again with the spouses now included – you’ve got to love it.

Often I have been brought in to Arbitrate but beforehand, I have to remind mom and dad that I do NOT represent them – I represent the company and its’ future. 

Employees see the relatives fighting (believe me – they see a lot more than you think) and they look at it as though mom and dad were fighting again.  It hurts the company.

You may think “It’s none of their business.”  However, if you were working for a company that had the people at the top arguing all the time – you might start to think – “Do I really want to be here when the ---- hits the fan?”

Add to this that sometimes relatives and/or friends that SHOULD be fired – aren’t.  This is seen as favoritism “If I did that – I’d be fired in a minute”.  This causes lots of problems in itself.  Employees do understand certain needed “Charity cases” but when it effects their job, their future – patience dwindles and eventually they either leave or just develop an attitude – which is passed on to your customers.

All in all – you need to set up guidelines and run your company as a Family BUSINESS.  You have to take the time to learn how to establish rules and directions for the family business.  The infighting takes the emphasis away from growth and profit and only tangles up the company.